Yeeeaaaa...so this one's been a long time coming. Whine about it, I heard that that makes things better.* Anyway, in tonight's post, I am going to once again give you something deep to ponder about until my next note. Nah, just kidding, could you imagine? How boring would that be? Okay. Time to move on...**
So thanks to all of my adoring fans (you guys) and your positive feedback on this blog, I've decided that I'm going to write a book. I have absolutely no idea what this book will be about, I only know that it will be funny. So I'm well on my way, I think. Anyway, thanks to one Mike Blackaby, who I may or may not still have a severe man-crush on,*** I already have a title for this undoubtedly amazing book. Regardless of what this book is about, or what the contents of this book will contain, its title will be Sex, Drugs, and Rock-and-Roll and Why I Love All Three.† You want to read it already. Awesome.
Now that I've gotten that out in the open, it's time for this blog post's main topic: the fall. As in mankind's fall that is chronicled in the book of............Genesis.††† The one that includes the first two people in existence: Adam and Eve. The one where....okay, yea, you get it.
Before I go further, I must admit that I did not come up with this all by me onesy.‡ I was helped by the ever-so-wonderful Miss Elizabeth Hauser. Wait! Hold your applaud until the end of the note, please. Thank you.
So Elizabeth and I were weeding the yard of one of our church members one fine (HOT) afternoon, and we began reminiscing‡‡ about the time before the fall when weeds weren't really a problem. We started talking about stupid Adam and Eve and how we totally wouldn't have sinned and ruined Earth for everyone else like they did,‡‡‡ and eventually we started playing the blame game like so many people do when the fall is brought up. That's when it hit me that I had stumbled upon yet another (popular) Bible story that is left open-ended. Here's the setup:
First, Satan tempts the two. Second, Eve sins. Finally, Adam sins. Then God shows up. Bad day. They all point the finger at each other, and in the end, everyone is punished. This is where the story ends. God never says who's at fault for all of this. Well, Hauser and I tackled this question head on and I'm proud to say that we have an answer for you, my crazy readers.**** The answer is simple: the blame falls on Adam. Yes, Eve was the first to stumble and take a bite, and yes, Eve was the first to desire the fruit at all. However, and here's the key question, what was Eve doing out of the kitchen to begin with??!†††† Had she been in the kitchen, where she belonged, she wouldn't have been anywhere near the forbidden fruit, and would therefore not have even been tempted by the serpent in the first place. Had Adam been doing his husbandly duty in making sure that Eve was where she should have been, we would still live in a sinless world.
So there you have it. Another open-ended story has been pointed out to you and then properly‡‡‡‡ addressed, leaving you with an answer you didn't even know you were looking for. Thanks for reading, and be on the lookout for the next blog post. And my book. Oh, and you can applaud for Elizabeth now.
*Yea, not sure where that malice just came from. My apologies.
**Should the fact that I constantly break my own concentration by going off on tangents worry me? Would adding another tangent here, after just asking about my tendency to break off on tangents, be funny? I think so.
***Get used to it, Lane. I can't fight love.
†For you more conservative folks in my reading audience, please rest assured that this book will not be about any of these three things, but will instead be a theological comparison of the Republican and Democratic parties and how neither will lead to the absolution of sin or the sanctification of a believer.††
††Pssssssssshhhhh! Lol!! (And in case you were wondering, yes, I had to look some of those terms up).
†††Get it? "Chronicled", as in the books of the Bible entitled "Chronicles"? *Awkward pause...laughs too hard at own joke*
‡Pirates of the Caribbean quote. Uh....in case you were wondering, I guess.
‡‡Incorrect usage of the word "reminiscing."
‡‡‡100% false and theologically inaccurate.
****Albeit a non-serious and completely theologically incorrect one.
††††Aaaaaaaaand all credibility goes out the window...
‡‡‡‡Uh.....
Ah yes, picture time. You know it well, and have learned to embrace it as a warm farewell from each of my blog posts.
So thanks to all of my adoring fans (you guys) and your positive feedback on this blog, I've decided that I'm going to write a book. I have absolutely no idea what this book will be about, I only know that it will be funny. So I'm well on my way, I think. Anyway, thanks to one Mike Blackaby, who I may or may not still have a severe man-crush on,*** I already have a title for this undoubtedly amazing book. Regardless of what this book is about, or what the contents of this book will contain, its title will be Sex, Drugs, and Rock-and-Roll and Why I Love All Three.† You want to read it already. Awesome.
Now that I've gotten that out in the open, it's time for this blog post's main topic: the fall. As in mankind's fall that is chronicled in the book of............Genesis.††† The one that includes the first two people in existence: Adam and Eve. The one where....okay, yea, you get it.
Before I go further, I must admit that I did not come up with this all by me onesy.‡ I was helped by the ever-so-wonderful Miss Elizabeth Hauser. Wait! Hold your applaud until the end of the note, please. Thank you.
So Elizabeth and I were weeding the yard of one of our church members one fine (HOT) afternoon, and we began reminiscing‡‡ about the time before the fall when weeds weren't really a problem. We started talking about stupid Adam and Eve and how we totally wouldn't have sinned and ruined Earth for everyone else like they did,‡‡‡ and eventually we started playing the blame game like so many people do when the fall is brought up. That's when it hit me that I had stumbled upon yet another (popular) Bible story that is left open-ended. Here's the setup:
First, Satan tempts the two. Second, Eve sins. Finally, Adam sins. Then God shows up. Bad day. They all point the finger at each other, and in the end, everyone is punished. This is where the story ends. God never says who's at fault for all of this. Well, Hauser and I tackled this question head on and I'm proud to say that we have an answer for you, my crazy readers.**** The answer is simple: the blame falls on Adam. Yes, Eve was the first to stumble and take a bite, and yes, Eve was the first to desire the fruit at all. However, and here's the key question, what was Eve doing out of the kitchen to begin with??!†††† Had she been in the kitchen, where she belonged, she wouldn't have been anywhere near the forbidden fruit, and would therefore not have even been tempted by the serpent in the first place. Had Adam been doing his husbandly duty in making sure that Eve was where she should have been, we would still live in a sinless world.
So there you have it. Another open-ended story has been pointed out to you and then properly‡‡‡‡ addressed, leaving you with an answer you didn't even know you were looking for. Thanks for reading, and be on the lookout for the next blog post. And my book. Oh, and you can applaud for Elizabeth now.
*Yea, not sure where that malice just came from. My apologies.
**Should the fact that I constantly break my own concentration by going off on tangents worry me? Would adding another tangent here, after just asking about my tendency to break off on tangents, be funny? I think so.
***Get used to it, Lane. I can't fight love.
†For you more conservative folks in my reading audience, please rest assured that this book will not be about any of these three things, but will instead be a theological comparison of the Republican and Democratic parties and how neither will lead to the absolution of sin or the sanctification of a believer.††
††Pssssssssshhhhh! Lol!! (And in case you were wondering, yes, I had to look some of those terms up).
†††Get it? "Chronicled", as in the books of the Bible entitled "Chronicles"? *Awkward pause...laughs too hard at own joke*
‡Pirates of the Caribbean quote. Uh....in case you were wondering, I guess.
‡‡Incorrect usage of the word "reminiscing."
‡‡‡100% false and theologically inaccurate.
****Albeit a non-serious and completely theologically incorrect one.
††††Aaaaaaaaand all credibility goes out the window...
‡‡‡‡Uh.....
Ah yes, picture time. You know it well, and have learned to embrace it as a warm farewell from each of my blog posts.
