Yes, that is exactly what forgiveness sounds like!* So all of you should probably scream for a bit and then get silent as you forgive me for not posting for over a month. The last month has been a busy one, folks.** I've been spread thin working on a short story and with helping my dad out at some of his houses as he prepares them for their next tenants. I've done more manual labor in the last few weeks than I have in a while and I'm feeling pretty good about it because I have not been able to do much physical activity at all since my surgery in December. But you're not here to read about that, now are you?***
So something interesting happened recently that I'll share with you before heading into the blog topic of the day. Mike Blackaby, who everyone knows is the most attractive man alive,† changed his phone number some time ago. I'm pretty sure I remember getting a text from him telling me that his number had changed, but chances are I forgot to change the number on my phone.†† Anyway, the the point here is that I was sending him text messages and not getting responses. This was deeply saddening to me,††† but last night I got his new number, texted him, and got a response. It was the second best night of my life.‡
Sorry, I needed to share that, it was quite an exciting story for me. If you don't like it, stop reading my blog. No.....don't stop reading my blog. Keep...keep reading. Please. And now onto the blog post!!
Have you ever been on the phone with someone and had to spell something out to them? Of course you have. I hate‡‡ doing that. I dread those moments more than I dread one day meeting my in-laws.**** You will always inevitably be forced to go with the "c as in cat" strategy because the idiot who named our letters was apparently being cute when he made them all sound exactly alike. Jerk. Anyway, the reason I hate this so much is because I never know what word to go with for each of the letters! I panic! For example, say I'm spelling out my brother's first name. My side of the conversation will go something like this:
"Uh.....ok......here...here we go. Are you ready? Because...because I'm ready. You are? Oh. Ok. Uh.....'M' as in......uh..........'mmmmmmmmmmmmmmat.'" *Nervous chuckle* "Ok, uh....'A' as in........uh.......'aaaapple'? Ok. 'T' as in......uhhhhhh..." *Nervously glances around room to find something that starts with 'T'. Coffee mug...no. Computer....no. Pterodactyl......close enough. "...'Pterodactyl.'" *Awkward pause* "What? Yea, Pterodactyl. No. No, not 'P'. Yes. No, I realize that 'Pterodactyl' actually starts with 'P,' but the 'P' is silent. Well...I was going with the firstsound. Oh yea? Well maybe....you...should....go with words that actually start with the letter....you know what nevermind. What? No, I am not just looking around my room to find things that start with the right letter! What's that? Oh yea, they make wonderful pets. They're kinda big, but once they learn that they need to fold their wings in to get through doorframes, they're actually pretty cool. No, they eat fish, actually. Yea, but like a lot of fish. Yea. Oh right, sorry. The last letter is also 'T' as in.....uuuuuhhhhhhhh....."
You see what I'm saying? It's just embarrassing and awkward. The worst part about all of this is that the dude (or dudette) on the other line is always a freaking master at doing it. They're all like ex-plane pilots or something because they fly†††† through it like it's not a problem at all for them and laugh at my stupidity while they do so.‡‡‡‡ Jerks.
One more quick thing I want to hit on before signing off for what will hopefully be less than a month this time is Microsoft's customer support. Every single time I call them, some dude who is definitely not from America answers and goes "Hello, my name is Mark, how can I help you?" Just once....just one time I want to bust out laughing over the phone and go: "Ok first of all, your name is not Mark!" I'll let you know if I ever get around to this.
*Probably not true.
**Actually true, believe it or not.
***Don't say yes. It's not funny or cute.
†Yea, I know he has serious competition from me, but I'm pretty sure he takes the cake. Of course, I'm kind of biased here.
††I don't remember my own birthday some days. So yea, this is actually serious.
†††There were a number of nights where I cried myself to sleep.
‡The best being the night I met him, of course.
‡‡Yea. Italics, bold, and underline. I'm making a statement here, albeit‡‡‡ not a very important one.
‡‡‡Which is actually pronounced "all-bee-it," apparently. I got made fun of for saying "all-bite" by the lovely Ms. Daniel. So make sure you don't pronounce it wrong or you might get harassed.
****Joke. Chill.
††††No pun intended, teehee.
‡‡‡‡Definitely not true.
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